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Monday, March 21, 2011

MY STORY OF RESCUE.


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You call me out upon the water,

where feet may fail.

There I find you in the mystery.

Oceans deep, my faith will stand.

****

Spirit lead me where my trust

is without boarders. Let me walk upon

the waters where ever you would call me.


IF YOU'VE NEVER HEARD THIS SONG, PLEASE LISTEN BEFORE READING MY STORY OF RESCUE AND NEWLY EMBRACED FREEDOM IN CHRIST. YOUR GRACE ABOUNDS IN DEEPEST WATERS

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John Piper writes, “At first there was the fear that this terrible storm and awesome terrain might claim your life. But then you found a refuge and gained the hope that you would be safe. But not everything in the feeling called fear vanished from your heart. Only the life-threatening part. There remained the trembling, the awe, the wonder, the feeling that you would never want to tangle with such a storm or be the adversary of such power…The fear of God is what is left of the storm when you have a safe place to watch right in the middle of it….Oh, the thrill of being here in the center of the awful power of God, yet protected by God himself!” (p. 186-187 in The Pleasures of God: Meditations on God’s Delight in Being God).



On Jan 8th 2011 I posted on facebook that Jan 7th was the worst day of my life. I refrained from disclosing any further information at that time. I suspect in that moment I didn't really have the words to uncover the depth behind my statement. While a whole lot of life and learning led me up to this day, I feel there are events in our life where God reaches down and pulls us out. As I sat in my ocean front room late at night on the 6th of January, I stared at the very powerful crashing waves through a very large window. I felt at peace, happy to be there watching and listening to the power of the ocean. I found my mind wondering for a moment quickly reviewing the journey I had been on the past few years. (Now, that's a book for another day). I knew in my heart God has done an incredible work in my thought life, which has led to a very healthy me. As I was sitting there, I felt an urge to pray. Quietly to myself I said, "God, continue to resuce me...deliver me from this." I was bummed it was our last night at the beach. We were having such a great time. The next morning I took my time packing up. It was just the kids and I, so I had to craftily figure out how to get packed up without them unpacking. We were off about 11:30 am with full intentions to head straight home. As I drove with a happy bunch, eager to get home to see Hamilton, Keena looks to the left. "Mom, can we go to the beach," she says. All I could think about was, oh man...this whole time we were here we never went down to the beach. Since it had been rainey and wet, it made sense we hadn't gone. Without thinking too much about it, I pulled off and a roar of excited children broke out. "Ok, just for a bit," I said. With baby in my arms, camera (of course) and blanket in hand...let's go! We took a very short walk down to the shore. I sat Isaiah (my crawler) on a blanket. This was his first encounter with sand and I found out quickly he was not fond of it at all. Keeping him from "exploring" the ocean shore took zero effort. As Isaiah was perfectly content taking in his surroundings on the blanket, I took much joy in watching the other kids run from the intimidating 4 inch waves. So cute! With camera in hand I took the photo you see above....just moments before I lost control of everything. What may of happened in a matter of moments seemed to feel like an eternity. My two older children had been having the time of their life taking in the ocean around them, running to and from the gentle waves that chased them. With approx. 15 ft between me and them my eye caught a rather non alarming incident. It had appeared an ankle deep wave tripped them up and there I saw them take a light tumble (together) to their bottom as the wave passed. In this moment my only alarm was realizing it's really time to go now since they are pretty wet. With in the same motion of them falling I was taking steps toward them expecting them to get up as quickly as they fell. To my horror, what was just a harmless passing wave quickly turned into rising waters and a melting foundation leaving my kids with nothing to stand on. With no time to process what I was seeing, I was moving quickly toward them with water suddenly above my knees greatly slowing me down. I noticed fear struck my childrens faces as they had no way of finding ground to plant their feet. They began waving their arms and feet in now what was like a stream and not so gentle current. As I was less then a second away from their rescue a slight jolt of the water toward the right submerged my entire body, head to toe, under water. I remember taking my childrens facial expressions of terror under that very disguised and deep hole of water. Struggling to find ground myself, I thought, how did I get here, what is going on, why am I under water. I found my way to the surface...some how. With my eyes quickly gaining focus I spotted my children. Cold and drenched I moved as quickly as I could to them. I instantly heard the cry of my daughter, the oldest and knew she was ok. As she floundered around trying to grab on to my side for safety I reached down with one arm and grabbed my 4 year old son who was face down, not moving in the water. Another second goes by and I'm trying to get a glimpse of my sons face as I'm trying to hold up his weighted down body. The gasp of air and his big brown eyes popping open was just about the most incredible and relieving sight I'd ever seen. A calmness washed over me as we struggled to shore. Dry land was all I was thinking about from the moment of leaving the water. Our heavely water logged bodies stumbled to saftey and I kept repeating to the kids, it's ok....it's ok....it's ok. I look up and see a man coming out of the resuraunt we were very close to. I let out a very faint, "help." He didn't hear me and I wasn't even sure he saw us. I felt the exaustion set in and with just enough time to catch my breathe I thought.... ISAIAH. I turned around and my baby was no where in site. The water had pushed us a very uncomfortable distance away from where I had Isaiah sitting on a blanket. With now no one around to help, I told the kids to stay put. I needed to check on their brother. Running back to get a view of Isaiah, the disbelief of what just happend started to sink in. Immediately my concern was, had the tide come in everywhere. Am I going to see my baby when I look around this rock that was blocking my view of him? Still amazingly calm and collected I ran and ran as my pants were falling off and it felt like I was wearing a full body weight suit. I spotted Isaiah with a look on his face that didn't have a care in the world. He looked like a big marshmellow in his oversized puffy coat, just calmly sitting on the blanket where I left him. I began saying to myself, we're ok...we're ok. This eventful afternoon wrapped up with a pleasent trip to the ER where we changed our clothes, warmed up, and recieved an all around check up. We left the hospital with smiles on our faces, warm, and dry. I got in the car, took a big deep breathe and started driving home. As I drove home, along with soothing my children and talking things out with them, I still couldn't wrap my mind around what just happend. When I began hearing more of the road, then my childrens voices I noticed myself looking in the rear view mirror, realizing it was very possible I could have drove home alone that day. Not long after the accident I really felt God was bringing me some clarity, while sustaining my peace and joy. For instance, the song below was sent to me by a friend. I had never heard this song until now (March 2011). I can't help but believe this is one of many ways God will remind me that He is my ONLY HOPE. Please read on to the right of the page after watching and listening to this video... THERE LIES A FAITH IN THE ABSENCE OF CONTROL...
On March 4th 2010, I posted this other video below while feeling the full effect of the words in this song. I feel many of my prayers are spoken through music I hear. Almost 1 year later, after the beach accident,I was looking back through old facebook posts. I was revisiting all the quotes I've written down of my kids words. In the mist of enjoying these quotes, I stopped to listen to this song that had explained so much of what I had been going through for the past couple of years. It was like someone out there had put my feeling into words, something that was very hard to do. I'm in awe with the words of this song, the pictures displayed in this homemade youtube video that someone just happended to put together, maybe in regards to their own feelings toward the song. As I watched this video the night I restumbled across it, I was blown away to say the least. I couldn't believe the pictures towards the end (you have to wait for it,about 3 min and 45 sec.)of the video. In a nut shell ya'll, without thought, I automatically saw myself being "pulled out." This video, I believe, was Gods way of showing me clarity that He was indeed my resucer that day. That in the mist of my darkest days, when so much seemed to be falling apart (these past 4 yrs.) and I feel alone in these struggles, He is still in control and He will never leave me or stop fighting for me. Now that...is love. PSALM 33:20 "Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield". NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON, YOU WILL BE MY RESCUE.
ON CHRIST THE SOLID ROCK I STAND, ALL OTHER GROUND IS SINKING SAND.

Romans 10: 5-11

Moses writes about receiving God’s approval by following his laws. He says, “The person who obeys laws will live because of the laws he obeys.” However, Scripture says about God’s approval which is based on faith, “Don’t ask yourself who will go up to heaven,” (that is, to bring Christ down). “Don’t ask who will go down into the depths,” (that is, to bring Christ back from the dead). However, what else does it say? “This message is near you. It’s in your mouth and in your heart.” This is the message of faith that we spread. If you declare that Jesus is Lord, and believe that God brought him back to life, you will be saved. By believing you receive God’s approval, and by declaring your faith you are saved. Scripture says, “Whoever believes in him will not be ashamed.”
John 14:6....Jesus answered, "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."
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